He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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