Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
