i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
from now on my penis is your penis
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
