chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
