Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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