WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just found puke in my bra..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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