and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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