you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
