We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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