please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize