I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love you.
Bad choice
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
