i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
