I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think people are normalizing furries
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
