I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
