nut hugger
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We were destined to go to rehab together
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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