his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
