Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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