Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
