How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
