yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
