there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
