I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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