he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize