the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
