You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Of course I have a pirate flag
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
