your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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