i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
