yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
