thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
