We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
