I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
