worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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