if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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