So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
