You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize