Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
