Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
