Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hippo gnu deer
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
