If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
