last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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