I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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