you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
