Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
