I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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