so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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