He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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