THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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