I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
