Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize