so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.