Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

(248): View more from Michigan

Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

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(248): Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room (248): Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65 http://tfl.nu/zat2

Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (876)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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(205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk

Replies (16) Good night (715) Bad night (1541)
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(561): View more from Florida

i will soon be in a relationship on fb

(919): View more from North Carolina

you!?

(561): View more from Florida

me and your mom. i mean, lisa.

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(561): i will soon be in a relationship on fb (919): you!? (561): me and your mom. i mean, lisa. http://tfl.nu/5lvv

Replies (11) Good night (3292) Bad night (792)
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(574): View more from Indiana

how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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(574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515

Replies (48) Good night (6082) Bad night (1080)
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(914): View more from New York

something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..

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(914): something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined.. http://tfl.nu/wloj

Replies (13) Good night (922) Bad night (5075)
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(917): View more from New York City

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

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(917): i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past. http://tfl.nu/eita

Replies (4) Good night (2623) Bad night (1891)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

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(337): The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth http://tfl.nu/th81

Replies (14) Good night (2691) Bad night (930)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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(570): Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question. http://tfl.nu/xjer

Replies (3) Good night (1848) Bad night (498)
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(343): View more from Ontario

The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka

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(343): The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka http://tfl.nu/nkji

Replies (4) Good night (1190) Bad night (816)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.

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(847): I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying. http://tfl.nu/v59j

Replies (4) Good night (1397) Bad night (752)
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(707): View more from California

I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.

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(707): I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy. http://tfl.nu/am87

Replies (6) Good night (847) Bad night (472)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?

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(313): Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise? http://tfl.nu/m7ic

Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (606)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR

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(416): Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR http://tfl.nu/4v5r

Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (375)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore

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(267): If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore http://tfl.nu/3cnq

Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (347)
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(360): View more from Washington

What's life without a pregnancy scare?

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(360): What's life without a pregnancy scare? http://tfl.nu/mewe

Replies (7) Good night (237) Bad night (464)

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