You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.