So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment