So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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