he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"