Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
