He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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