Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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