false alarm. still invincible.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
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