well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize