You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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