My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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