I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
